i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
