i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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