You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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