fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
