If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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