Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
