If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
