that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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