weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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