Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
