reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
