He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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