That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
