Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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