After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
