He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
