In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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