its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
