We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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