i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
