just come out here and I will go home with you...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
