dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
