Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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