your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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