Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
