Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
