My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize