If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
