No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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