Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I could make wine with my vomit
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
