dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
