some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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