My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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