We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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