people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
