Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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