It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I am morally bankrupt
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
