My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
