You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
