don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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