yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
