I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
