Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
