I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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