and she was petting her beer can
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
