her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
