We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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