Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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