I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
