thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
