This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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