So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
